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The Most Relatable Anonymous Pickleball Complaint

Friday, June 2nd, 2023


The Seattle newspaper called The Stranger has a section where people can go off on a tirade and speak their mind as long as it is anonymous. Somewhat like a Dear Abby without any response or solution. Surprise! Pickleball was a topic.


"I can't believe I'm complaining about pickleball jerk jocks making park reservations–it's not the hill I'd die on–but here I am." Said anonymous.

It's a tale as old as time, there are never enough courts to go around for pickleball players to enjoy. You want to relish open play, well everyone in the city is there including your mother so you are only able to play once every 45 minutes. No thank you. Do you want to reserve a court with your friends? Then you've got to hurry on the website as soon as it opens or all the times will be taken because it is first come first serve. Not to mention all the open play people glare at you with jealousy because you were able to book the court that they wanted.


"Why does the City let people hoard public access to community fun and exercise? Do better, Seattle Parks! Not everyone has the time and the funds to access the reservation system and pay up. Had to go get "anger Slurpees" after that shit–which fucking hit, by the way, but I’m still mad, bro." Explains anonymous.

If only anger slurpees fixed the pickleball problem.

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